some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
