if i can run in heels then i can drive
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
