I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
no, he came in my armpit
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
