Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
