She said her name was "party"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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