Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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