i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
