The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize