She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
