I didn't shave. On purpose
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
