Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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