I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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