i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
