I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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