i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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