jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
