the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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