Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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