Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
