My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
don't judge my taste in strippers
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
