I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
