I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
