so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
