thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
