I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize