She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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