What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
