A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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