Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
