He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
