College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
