You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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