I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This house was built for laser tag.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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