So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
