love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
