hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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