so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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