Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
