Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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