He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
