My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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