I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
