Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
there is glitter all over my balls
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