No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize