it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
