and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
