I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
