we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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