he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
