I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
