is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dear god my vagina.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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