forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
