lets start a swedish sibling band together
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
