Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When are your genitals available?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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