why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
