You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
