Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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